heart

i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me
is your doing, my darling

i fear no fate
for you are my fate,my sweet
i want no world
for beautiful you are my world, my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you 

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart

ee cummings

25 days.

25 until I am a wife. This is possibly the craziest thing that has ever happened. I can hardly believe that in less than four short weeks I will be Kelly Elders and will be forming a new family with Trent. It's pretty amazing - the way that God created us. Since I was a little girl I have played "house" and dreamed of having my own place with the man I love. I knew he was out there but for years there was just a blurry cloud where his face was.
As soon as I met Trent I knew something amazing was coming. You can ask my close friends, this guy was different. There wasn't necessarily anything profound at first, just a feeling. But as I got to know him, I came to find that Trent was the sweetest, most caring, curious, eager, and loving individual that I had come across. I think I figured out pretty early on that Trent was the man that God had created for me.
Wow. What a lucky woman I am. What an incredible man. I feel so unbelievably blessed to be marrying my best friend. And I can hardly believe that it is happening so soon.
I can only hope and pray that Trent and I love and serve each other to the best of our abilities and that we always find our joy in the Lord.
I love you Trenton, and I can't wait to be yours, in 25 days.

hot beverages

Mmm, there is nothing better than hot beverages. Anything from hot tea to apple cider; from cocoa to coffee. What is it about a hot beverage that makes it so much more charming than a cold one? Even as I write this I'm drinking cranberry apple tea and it is warming me, and in more than just a physical sense. This may sound a little crazy, but it is things like hot beverages that bring me comfort. I am one of those people who loves rainy days, fuzzy blankets, and crackling candle-light. I love reading long romantic books and getting up early just to enjoy the cool morning. There is obviously nothing wrong with this but lately I've realized that those moments of my day, the "ideal" moments where I am curled up drinking tea and reading, are the moments that satisfy me and keep me going. To get through long days I allow myself little breaks. Moments where I can enjoy whatever I want. But I've come to realize I'm leaving something out.

Along with these moments are parts of my day that I dread but I force myself to do. exercising is one of these things. If I don't do it first thing in the morning I won't do it at all, so lately I'll drag myself out of bed and go for a run. It is definitely satisfying afterwards, but I rarely look forward to it before. I think I have put devotions into this category for me. If I don't force myself to do them, I won't. If I'm not very intentional about it, I will pick up Jane Eyre and a cup of coffee instead.
How ridiculous is it that those romantic little moments that I mentioned, that I live for and look forward to each day, are pulling me away from the one true satisfying thing? This is a busy summer for me and a time of HUGE changes. Why can't I turn to the one thing that will always still constant and continue to fulfill me no matter what?
I want to push through this patch and make my time with God even more idolized in my life than my good books and hot beverages. I need to seek out him first and foremost and the rest of my days will fall into place.
Hot beverages are wonderful, but tonight, with my tea and candle-light, I am going to spend some time with my God.

old friends. the best.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one" - C.S. Lewis

There is only one thing greater than sharing a good evening with friends and that is sharing a good evening with old friends. What a blessing it is to reunite after years apart and realize that although we're changing and growing, we're still very much the same. What a charity to find people in this sea of humans surrounding us, that are so much like ourselves and can share our pains and joys because they feel the same things we feel. What a gift to look into a friends eyes and know exactly what she is thinking or feeling because you've felt it too. What a joy to say nothing at all or to talk until your throat is sore, but either way connecting. I love my dear old friends. They've known me forever and still love me. They've seen me grow and still understand my heart.

So to you, dear friends, welcome back. Welcome back into my life. I love sharing my thoughts and feelings and my cares and concerns. I love sharing laughter, oh so much laughter. I promise you that no matter where we end up, or if we go years without being together again, I will always love you, care about you, and pray for you. I know that you will do amazing things, and I can't wait to see you take on this crazy world.

You bless me more than you know.
So thankful for you,
kelly.