Last night and today I was reminded of something: Anxiety, worry, fear... all sins. When I get anxious or worry about something it is like saying "God, you can't handle this, this is too much for me, too much for you, so therefore I'm going to stress out about it". How dare I worry when my Father in Heaven has proved over and over again how he can handle anything, and how he is so much more powerful than I can ever imagine. If I believe the Bible is 100% true, then I need to believe all of the verses that talk about how powerful he is, and how he promises to never leave me, are absolutely true. For the first time, last night, I had a panic attack. Never mind the reason why... but let's just say it was pretty irrational to be so worried and upset about it. I knew deep down it would be ok, but my mind kept telling me that these crazy, irrational things were going to happen, and got to the point where I literally couldn't catch my breath. My God is so much bigger than the futile thing that I was stressing over. I really need to work on my worrying problem, and remember that I have a good shepherd who comforts the weary and the weak.
~Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (1 Pet 5.6-7)
~I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Ps 18.1-2)
~Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov 3.5-6)
~And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Rom 8.28)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
re-adjustments
I'm amazed at how quickly I have been able to jump back into my "normal" life... I just got home from a trip to Israel less than a week ago and I am already feeling fully re-adjusted to our time-zone, and comfortable picking up where I left off...
My trip was incredible. It was incredibly challenging in a physical sense, and incredibly enlightening into Jewish culture, First Century living, and a deeper understanding of the character of the God that I serve and love. It wasn't one of those; spiritual high, fall on your knees and cry out, rock your world for the weeks that you're there type of experience for me. For me it was a steady gaining of knowledge, understanding, and appreciation. Knowledge of Jewish culture, and the lifestyle that a Jew would have a lived in the first Century. Understanding of why the Bible, and Jesus in particular, use certain things as symbols, and an understanding of how Jesus fulfilled every prophecy and every promise from God. And an appreciation for the intense, passionate love that the Triune God has for us.
And yet with my new-found knowledge, understanding, and appreciation, I'm having a hard time knowing exactly how this should translate in my life back home. In Kelly. I have a much better picture of how Jesus lived his life, but in my life today, how can I mirror this? It is much harder than I expected to transform the areas in my life that were brought to light as needing some t.l.c while I was on the trip. It's much easier to just settle back in to the old way, the comfortable way, that I was living.
I guess the one thing, and I suppose I should take this as at least some progress, is that I am more sensitive to the times and opportunities that I should be entering Shephelah and being a city on a hill. I think my conscience has gotten stronger when it comes to showing those around me who don't know Jesus, how he might have reacted. I'm not saying I'm always good at it, but it's going somewhere.
For now I have to keep praying and reading. I know that God gave me this trip for a reason and I know that I have the ability to let this change my life for the better. Here I go :)
My trip was incredible. It was incredibly challenging in a physical sense, and incredibly enlightening into Jewish culture, First Century living, and a deeper understanding of the character of the God that I serve and love. It wasn't one of those; spiritual high, fall on your knees and cry out, rock your world for the weeks that you're there type of experience for me. For me it was a steady gaining of knowledge, understanding, and appreciation. Knowledge of Jewish culture, and the lifestyle that a Jew would have a lived in the first Century. Understanding of why the Bible, and Jesus in particular, use certain things as symbols, and an understanding of how Jesus fulfilled every prophecy and every promise from God. And an appreciation for the intense, passionate love that the Triune God has for us.
And yet with my new-found knowledge, understanding, and appreciation, I'm having a hard time knowing exactly how this should translate in my life back home. In Kelly. I have a much better picture of how Jesus lived his life, but in my life today, how can I mirror this? It is much harder than I expected to transform the areas in my life that were brought to light as needing some t.l.c while I was on the trip. It's much easier to just settle back in to the old way, the comfortable way, that I was living.
I guess the one thing, and I suppose I should take this as at least some progress, is that I am more sensitive to the times and opportunities that I should be entering Shephelah and being a city on a hill. I think my conscience has gotten stronger when it comes to showing those around me who don't know Jesus, how he might have reacted. I'm not saying I'm always good at it, but it's going somewhere.
For now I have to keep praying and reading. I know that God gave me this trip for a reason and I know that I have the ability to let this change my life for the better. Here I go :)
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